Working Sucks

Good lord, I feel bad working at the hospital this whole week.  It just sucks.  If I could tell my childhood self not to go work in the healthcare industry I would.  The vast majority of people generally suck; therefore working at a hospital must suck even more.  Whatever happened to being a kid?  Whatever happened to having fun?  Jobs were created and soon sucked the life out of everyone who ever attempted to work.  I don't mean to be nasty or negative, but this is pretty much how honest and truthful I can be.  I've learned that I have a low tolerance for other people.  Some people I get along with or don't mind being with.  On some days, things get really nasty and all hell breaks loose.  People skills are very hard to come by.  "Kill them with kindness" is probably my best bet to facing anyone who's difficult.  There's just so many different cases where people become enraged, hostile, violent, upset, grumpy, or just plain crazy.  That's why they come in where I work, because they're there for answers.  A successful business operates on the grounds that it helps a customer solve a problem either it being something simple as hunger, medicine, and/or entertainment.  Growing up has all been a big lie to me.  I want to go back being a kid again.  I don't want to have to deal with people, patients, women, girls, or any other forms craziness.  No, grownup people are not fun.  They yell a lot, blame things on others, and have all these kids they can't take care of.   I don't want that to be me.

As a kid, I had fun with Nintendo.  Now, the only memories I have are locked up and stored behind a solid, plastic case.  Life use to be fun.  Life use to be worth something.  Life was once full of potential and new ideas.  Now that I work at the hospital, all I see is the darkness.  I've been interning and schooling for one full year and what do I have to show for it?  Nothing, I have nothing to show for it.  Sure, I know how to better take care of others but at what cost?  I was never paid once.  I've worked at a grocery store next to a mentally challenged man who did nothing but bag groceries who probably makes more money.  Forget about med school.  I don't care about how much potential money I could be making working long hours at a hospital; I would probably rather be dead than have to deal with those sick people.      

Yes, life once had meaning when the Nintendo came out; but those days are gone.  Now, I work all the day for very little or no money at all.  All this time and money I've spent in school turned out to be a big waste.  I don't feel like paying for an education really did anything for me.  I guess I'm one of those people who are more geared towards vocational school.  We all want the money, but having to go through school is hell.  After I stopped playing Nintendo, my fun and joy slowly faded away into a nightmare of schooling and work.  I would like to say I found something that I'm actually passionate about and can run a successful business through it, but I'm still searching.  I'd never want to go back to school for along time if my x-ray program doesn't work out.  I've tried my best to keep up with the bullshit and politics, but it never ends.  There's been one test after another each week, back to back.  If I knew it was going to be this hard, I would have turned the other cheek and left along time ago when I had the chance.  Do you think they pay us to intern at the hospital, providing patient care?  Nope, no pay whatsoever.  I feel like dropping out and leaving everyday, but it's a game that they don't let you out like a sadistic episode of  "Keeping up with the Kardashians".  There's only about three or four weeks left.  I don't know what will happen.  I'm trying my best to survive and past this semester, but that's not even good enough for them.  What do they expect of us?  They're not even paying us money for working in a hospital for God sake.  How much more of this abuse can I take?  All of these old and sick people, I'm responsible for.  As hard as I try to hold on, only time will tell.