Monday, July 14, 2014

Monday Morning - Getting Back into the Grind

Well, I'm back to the rat race.  My vacation is well over due, and I'm back interning at a hospital in a really ghetto city.  Do you know all those hot television shows that kids love to watch back in the day like Doogie Howser, Scrubs, Nurse Jackie, House, and Dr. Oz!?  Wouldn't you love to work in a hospital!?  My honest truth is you don't.  I sure as hell do not want to.  Long story short, it's been 1 out of the 2 years so far I need to survive the radiology program.  Several students have already dropped out due to various reasons.  Either a student can't pass the written exams that involves textbooks, or they can't deal with patients.  My case is that I can't deal with patients.  It's a horrifying experience for me to be in with anyone else, especially if they're sick.  If it is one thing people have it's the ability to expose other people's flaws and weaknesses.  The amount of blame and wild accusations runs rampant and wild.  I cannot deal with all of the back stabbing, political issues people have with one another.  I especially cannot deal with talkative women who do nothing but complain and nag.  Simply, I do not want to be there.  I would rather bag groceries at the supermarket or be the dumbest life guard on duty at a local swimming pool.  Being around people here is not for the faint of heart.  There's a whole lot of baggage that you have to deal with.  Some guy even dropped a pile of urine on the floor today while trying to pee in a cup for a urine sample.  Another one just peed all over the place while standing to take a simple x-ray.  All of this daily nonsense adds up nonstop.  For me, it's not worth it.  I do not want to work at a hospital.  I do not care about the money.  I would advise kids to stay very far away from a health and/or medical profession.  You do not want to deal with these people.  If you thought customers were bad, patients are even worse.

I'm not here to lie to you.  I'm not here to sell you anything.  I know what I'm saying is not what people want to hear, but for me it's the truth.  Of course, everyone wants to make that money.  I want to make that money, but it's just not worth dealing with people.  You must be a very special person to be able to work with others so closely and actually enjoy the experience.  I don't enjoy the experience of running towards trouble and help solve the problem at hand.  Life is already full of a lot crap and working at a hospital just makes it worse.  As I've said before, I'm not sure how much any longer I can survive in this program.  I have the physical strength to persevere, I have the mental strength to pass the written exams, but when it comes to dealing with the emotional drama of everyday people Lord have mercy.

Child support may very well never be paid by the likes of me.  Now, I don't even care about the money.  I see what happens to everyday people and health is definitely top priority.  Sure, I want nice things that cost a lot of money; but the amount of work I would have to pull everything off would be too crushing and detrimental to my very core and being.  It's best if I just rolled into a another job that doesn't require having as much direct contact with people.  I don't know when this will happen, but I'm prepared for it if it does.  Paying more money for a better education has never helped the likes of me either.  Perhaps, I've just been in the wrong field for my entire life?  Obviously, I've walked down the wrong path believing in others and listening to what they wanted.  I need to focus more on what I want.  Working at in a hospital is not something I want; it's probably the last thing I want to do with my life.  I know I'm a jerk and should stay out even if it means making less money.  At this point, sustaining a one bedroom apartment and eating 3 meals a day is good enough for me.  What else can I tell my readers?  There's no hope for you unless you take advantage of whatever natural talent you possess in a particular field and work hard to develop that talent for a specialized trade, skill, and/or industry that's highly marketable.  For everyone else, there's the option of dying young and leaving behind a beautiful corpse.                

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