My Exam is a Fail

Well, I need to pass my exam so I can become a fully registered and licensed.  What can be worse than waiting for your results.  My preliminary score was 73, but you need a 75 to pass.  Huh, I'm barely even able to survive in my field.  No, I didn't expect to get a 100%; but 75 is not asking for much now is it?  Therefore, who am I to say I'm right all the time?  For one thing, I am nothing more than just one of life's many students.  Yes, I've probably put in more hours of studying and readying than my peers; but I'm still learning.  Disappointment, shame, guilt, worry, etc.  All of these negative emotions come arising finding out I didn't pass a simple exam.  Don't you understand?  Receiving one of the lowest scores just to pass?  This is not anywhere being an overachiever.  This is some pretty low standards to be honest.  I just feel like I deserve a second chance.  None the less, I'm still waiting for my final results.  I still have time to take another test. 

I feel ashamed.  I believed in myself.  I did the work.  I believed in what I was doing.  I believed in working hard.  I got up, got myself prepared, and did the work.  I can't believe this.  How could I possibly fail at something I do on the job everyday?  Perhaps, I should never change my answers on the test when reaching the end the exam.  I mean this shouldn't even be a thing.  Why am I struggling just to squeeze in 1 or 2 points just to pass?  No, I'm not a genius on paper or real life.  It's clear to me that I just don't know the answer to many of life's questions.  Good lord, I need help from above.  I thought I had it.  I thought my hard work and studying would pay off.  I'm at a lose here.  Maybe, I'll get demoted or something.  It's okay though.  I'll continue to work hard and learn regardless of being demoted.

Demotion, yes a demotion.  What if you found yourself making $100 an hour and all the sudden you've been demoted to a grocery clerk making $8 an hour.  That would be pretty devastating right?   Well, I guess it's similar to my case.  If I don't pass this exam before my deadline, I will be demoted.  There's nothing worse than having to do more work and making less money.  Worse case scenario, I will continue to work but with less pay.  I will continue to work but be in a lesser position.  How low can one go?  How high can one go up?  Well, I'm not a doctor and/or lawyer so I wouldn't know how'd that feel.  How ever long it will take me, I will try and pass my registration exam.  I have up to 3 years or whatever to take it up to 3 times.  If I have to continue on this dark path for 3 years, I will do it.   

As you can see, I am the definition of mediocracy.  No, I'm not a genius.  No, I didn't save the world.  Yes, I am delusion just because I've landed a 9-5 job that pays a little more than minimum wage.  Well, there are doctors, lawyers, and Jeff Bezo out there making a killing.  Who am I to have a big ego?  Who am I to tell you what is right and what is wrong?  I am just a humble student.  Please forgive me for my failures.  I will study harder.  I will put more effort into my endeavors.  I will play less video games.  I will sleep less.  I will focus more on my craft.  I will focus more on my business.  I will focus more on my job.  I will focus more on my continual education.  I am determined to do better on my exam. 

Thank you for stopping by.  I hope I get a second chance.  I'll be letting my readers know for next time.  Hopefully, the pandemic has extended my window frame of time to take my 2nd attempt. See you all next time!

Save More Money with Geico Car Insurance

Well, here it is: My $238.89 or $39.85 per month for 6 months Geico car insurance during the pandemic.  You get a 15% credit applied to your policy at this time.  Here are my other discounts applied to how much I usually pay:

So yeah, I've been reduced to adding more value to my page by posting my Geico monthly car payment.  Meh, I guess the entire world is owned by the corporations.  I mean, I have had a total of like 1 or 3 views.  In the end of days, who the fuck is going to give a damn @_@  Oh wow, saving money this?  Oh wow, save money that?  Oh wow, make money this!  Oh wow, make money that!  After a while, who really gives a fuck anymore >_<

Other than obsessing about money and being cheap, I hope to find more value in life.  Yes, I have been helping people save lives and all but that does not mean I'm adding much value to my blog material.  I guess I just suck at money.  Literally, I am a walking ghetto.  I suck at making money.  I've been sucking at making money.  I'm not someone who should setup an Employer ID with the town's cleric office.  If I were the boss of a company, my employees would be starving.  No, it's not cool being a shitty boss.  No, it's not funny appearing to be weak among your competitors.  In the midst of competition, I guess most people are forced to fake it until you make it.  Yup, it's all just a game of confidence.  Nothing is more important than self confidence - Ip Man.

Well, if you haven't done anything yet it's probably because you're lazy.  Welcome to being lazy.  Time passes by, you get hungry, and you start eating.  The next thing you know, you feel tired from being full and you want to take a nap or play video games.  

The vicious cycle continues.  I'm not sure why I'm stuck in this matrix or why it perpetuates like a repeating Nintendo game, but I'll be back here to post something when something is actually worth posting.  Thank you for stopping by and reading my content.  One day, I'll get off of my ass and do something important (outside of my normal work schedule).  Maybe, maybe working a 9-5, dedicated to saving lives, is as much as I can do.  Whatever it is, this is it.  Seriously, lying down and taking a nap is all I ever really did.  I have had dreams of making videos, writing books, producing new creative content but guess what?  Tomorrow never comes.  The food comes, the sleeping, the playing of video games, etc.  I am a never been.  I never have been producing much of anything worth while with my name attached to it.  I may have read or watch someone else's work but nothing of my own.  I am waiting for that day that I'll actually produce something worth a fuck.  

Peace out.  See you next time!  

    

Staying Humble

Well, by now we've saved well over 1,200 patients lives from the virus.  Look, I put in my time and effort to do my best.  No, I'm not God.  No, I'm not a super hero.  No, I don't want to have a giant ego and float around life with a big head.  I want to be humble.  No matter what I accomplish in life, I want to be low key about it.  Humanity has suffered from giant egos for far too long.  I've always felt that being too arrogant was somehow toxic.  If you want to play the game of dominance and finding a mate, being an asshole may help an individual leap over mountains; but for everyday living it just gets in the way from someone trying to learn and grow as person.  No, you don't want to be that guy fighting and arguing all the time.  No, you don't want to waste time being a jerk and trying to one-up everyone.  There are tons of examples and we all know who these kinds of assholes are, but of all honesty the answer is just NO.  Instead of being an egotistical maniac who thinks he is right all the time, I'd like to be more balanced.  Because when you're more balanced and open, you learn more.  You aren't stuck in your old ways.  You aren't there to argue with everyone.  You aren't there to have to defend yourself if someone has a negative opinion about you.  In other words: Don't get weird.  

No, at the age of 35 I'm still not a millionaire.  No, I have accomplished much even though I saved a few lives.  I'm sure there have been doctors and nurses before me who have saved thousands of lives.  In comparison, I'm just an ordinary layman.  No, I don't know everything.  No, I'm not the best around.  Hell, I don't even have a doctorate.  Hell, I don't even have a master's degree.  Hell, I don't even care anymore about the American education system because it's broken.  As long as I'm receiving my biweekly paycheck, I'm not going to give two shits.  I know I'm Asian and there's a whole train ride of Tiger parents who are into this kind of stuff, but as for me . . . No ones gives a fuck.  No, I don't want to be in debt.  No, I don't want to feel like a slave.  No, I don't want to get myself into that negative, toxic vibe like I don't know any better.  For God sake, there is more to life than just money and social status.  Whatever happened to just being happy?  

So whatever, you're a doctor; you make millions of dollars; you have all these nice shiny things; etc. I'm happy for you.  Now, help out the community.  Help out your family and friends.  Help out the homeless.  Help someone in need.  If everyone else seems spoiled and entitled just find somewhere else they'd appreciate you.  No, it's not easy.  Ultimately, like anything else you have to grow up and get out of your comfort zone or things start becoming toxic.  Maybe you like it toxic?  There's no real right or wrong in life, but there's such a thing as being of service and helping others in need.

Thank you for stopping by.  Thank you for those who've been helping.  Thank you for the gift of humility.  I'll see you next time!