My Exam is a Fail

Well, I need to pass my exam so I can become a fully registered and licensed.  What can be worse than waiting for your results.  My preliminary score was 73, but you need a 75 to pass.  Huh, I'm barely even able to survive in my field.  No, I didn't expect to get a 100%; but 75 is not asking for much now is it?  Therefore, who am I to say I'm right all the time?  For one thing, I am nothing more than just one of life's many students.  Yes, I've probably put in more hours of studying and readying than my peers; but I'm still learning.  Disappointment, shame, guilt, worry, etc.  All of these negative emotions come arising finding out I didn't pass a simple exam.  Don't you understand?  Receiving one of the lowest scores just to pass?  This is not anywhere being an overachiever.  This is some pretty low standards to be honest.  I just feel like I deserve a second chance.  None the less, I'm still waiting for my final results.  I still have time to take another test. 

I feel ashamed.  I believed in myself.  I did the work.  I believed in what I was doing.  I believed in working hard.  I got up, got myself prepared, and did the work.  I can't believe this.  How could I possibly fail at something I do on the job everyday?  Perhaps, I should never change my answers on the test when reaching the end the exam.  I mean this shouldn't even be a thing.  Why am I struggling just to squeeze in 1 or 2 points just to pass?  No, I'm not a genius on paper or real life.  It's clear to me that I just don't know the answer to many of life's questions.  Good lord, I need help from above.  I thought I had it.  I thought my hard work and studying would pay off.  I'm at a lose here.  Maybe, I'll get demoted or something.  It's okay though.  I'll continue to work hard and learn regardless of being demoted.

Demotion, yes a demotion.  What if you found yourself making $100 an hour and all the sudden you've been demoted to a grocery clerk making $8 an hour.  That would be pretty devastating right?   Well, I guess it's similar to my case.  If I don't pass this exam before my deadline, I will be demoted.  There's nothing worse than having to do more work and making less money.  Worse case scenario, I will continue to work but with less pay.  I will continue to work but be in a lesser position.  How low can one go?  How high can one go up?  Well, I'm not a doctor and/or lawyer so I wouldn't know how'd that feel.  How ever long it will take me, I will try and pass my registration exam.  I have up to 3 years or whatever to take it up to 3 times.  If I have to continue on this dark path for 3 years, I will do it.   

As you can see, I am the definition of mediocracy.  No, I'm not a genius.  No, I didn't save the world.  Yes, I am delusion just because I've landed a 9-5 job that pays a little more than minimum wage.  Well, there are doctors, lawyers, and Jeff Bezo out there making a killing.  Who am I to have a big ego?  Who am I to tell you what is right and what is wrong?  I am just a humble student.  Please forgive me for my failures.  I will study harder.  I will put more effort into my endeavors.  I will play less video games.  I will sleep less.  I will focus more on my craft.  I will focus more on my business.  I will focus more on my job.  I will focus more on my continual education.  I am determined to do better on my exam. 

Thank you for stopping by.  I hope I get a second chance.  I'll be letting my readers know for next time.  Hopefully, the pandemic has extended my window frame of time to take my 2nd attempt. See you all next time!