I don't like work. I don't like people. I just don't like it. My nature dictates that of someone who doesn't even give a crap, yet everyone looks at me because I'm the guy who's there. To be honest, I don't want to be there. I wish I was invisible. I don't get merit or reward for helping others. All I'm looking for is three meals a day and hopefully a paycheck. Everything else is just unnecessary baggage.
Working at a hospital really sucks. My "I don't give a crap attitude" isn't helping at all. I just do what is required of me to perform. They want us to run into "the fire" and to grab cases. Why in God's name would anyone do this voluntarily without pay is beyond my imagination. Who am I kidding? I don't want to be there. I just need to complete my schooling for another full year.
How will I ever survive all this dramatic semester? Good lord, does it look like I'm the guy you should be talking to about your uncle who's in the hospital? Does it look like I give a crap? Unfortunately, most people would say "Yes" and say that I look like a doctor. No, please do not load your undesirable baggage onto me when the crap hits the ceiling fan. Unless I have God given powers, than it would be okay. Any who, people want me to say positive, good things about them even though it's an awful lie. I have to lie my way through as best a possible and sugar coat everything just to establish trust and confidence in others. The slightest breeze can turn a situation or person into a hostile nightmare. It's just that crazy. The level of craziness I have to deal is just unbearable. I'm not sure how much longer I can last in this political, hostile environment. The worst part is that some people take me too seriously. I don't care. Life has to go on with or without a sugar coated answer.
Don't get so excited!? "Jesus Christ, I don't care" that is exactly what I'm going to say to people from now on who bring up drama and gossip. That or raise my middle finger, whichever one is more convincing at the time. I don't have money; therefore whatever I say or do has very little or no meaning whatsoever. I don't have the money to invest in some kind of relationship or marriage proposal. Hell, I'm not even sure networking with people has ever worked in a positive light for me. It's like my astrological sign is that of a homeless man. He knows nothing more than to take care of himself and to survive, period. Everything else more complicated or technical involving networking and politics gets sent straight into the garbage can. These things do not matter to a homeless man. A homeless man does not care much for anything except for three meals a day. "I have zero dollars in my pocket; I am a homeless; I don't care" that is my reasoning; that is what I must say to anyone who questions the validity of my choice of words or actions. No money; no problems. At some point in time, I just stop caring. How am I to care when there's absolutely no money, no food, or free handouts involved for my valiant efforts? This is humanity at its finest. Such is the life a homeless.