Today is another day in the life of a homeless. I graduated from all kinds of schools but that clearly wasn't enough for someone like me. Why do some people have jobs and some people don't? Maybe early childhood aptitudes test are right. Although I scored extremely low on each and everyone of them, I did manage to be an avid reader and good test taker later on. Getting good grades in classes just required studying but when it came to standardized testing I was just mere average. There's just something different about standardized exams: You can't study for them. After basic understanding of reading, writing, and math, you need critical thinking skills and to be able to solve things without the help of time spent studying. It's something that just happens at the moment of time you're taking the exam; much like how people who have jobs learn on the fly. Most brilliant ideas just come out of thin air after a nice, hot cup of coffee. There's nothing you can study for. Some people have it and some don't. I don't understand, but I'll keep trying to apply to whatever job I can.
Am I just not interested in money making subject matters like computer science, mathematics, or pharmacy? I'm not easily amused by dense, hard sciences. It's like walking around in hell for me. For me, the answer may just be not to care. Giving up so quickly? Is ignorance the solution? The jobs are all math related, so if you don't find interest here then it's pretty much find something else. Several hours later the TV will be turned on, the eating will begin, and so on. What's the difference? The same events will still happen. I'm in search of my thing to do in life. Maybe, it's making videos. I've always been interested in making videos. What is the point of all this crap if you can't see the bigger picture of things in an easy to view video format? Or maybe even writing a book? Whatever it is, I'd have to be very interested in whatever the hell it actually is to be able to anchor me down to the project and keep the interest levels up long enough to see a final product or outcome. The answer is right there, vision. You need to be able to visualize your goal clearly so you know what to aim for.
At this point, it wouldn't even be about money because you're loving what you're doing to the point that you just want to get things done. Eventually, you'll be doing what you love and money wouldn't be such an issue. That is the kind of answer I want to hear. Don't blame it on being fat, lazy, or not caring. You just have to find what you love to do; either that or keep working at whatever you hate until you love it.