Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Keep Trying

Today I was so desperate for a job I applied to the bank as a teller.  No, I don't get immediate responses usually.  If it is an immediate response it's usually to say that I'm not qualified.  Good God, how does anyone have a job these days?  Nothing seems to work for me.  How can I quit?  I'm not even dead yet?  Well, I always wanted to be a cop.  I passed my exam with a 90%, but then my family started verbally attacking me and being all defensive.  Now, they are stressed out that I still don't have a job.  From day one, I told my family that there wasn't much work out there for someone like me to do.  They thought that the world was full of beautiful sunshine and rainbows.  Deep down, I knew the economy would tank and someone like me would never have a chance to be someone else other than a cashier at a grocery store.  My working career is a shame.  I don't want to be buried in student loan debt.  With $345 a credit for more wasteful college courses you have to be dreaming.  Why pay so much money for something that will never pay you back?  There are lawyers out there who owe more than $100,000 in student loan debt with no way to pay it back because of the obviously, horrifying job market.  There's too many people and not enough jobs.  

I guess I'm going to go on usajobs.gov. next. At this point in life, I'm just going to apply everywhere.  I hear that government isn't so bad.  At this point I just feel desperate.  There's no feelings of the future or hope; it's just the ghetto life style.  They tried to educate us with school, even college, but it just doesn't work.  Things are the way they are.  Life is what it is.  Do you have $100,000 lying around?  Sure, become a doctor or lawyer.  If you don't have money or don't have the guts to be buried in $100,000 in student loan debt at a 7% interest rate, you're pretty much screwed like the rest of us.

Tomorrow, I shall repeat the same process.  Apply to more and more jobs and expand my horizons.  I would love to be able to use my x-ray license and earn at least $19 an hour, but I have to lower myself and just work at a front desk doing paper work or something.  After failure, I think I'm going to go back and do SORA training to be a mall cop for $15 an hour.  I don't care what anyone else thinks about me or how little money I earn.  I've always earned a low budget, ghetto salary.  Even with the advancement of the internet, I still don't have the right connections.  Man, the future doesn't look so bright at all.  What do I have to look forward to? $8 an hour?  Are you serious?  No, I'm not joking or lying.  I think my grandma was on welfare and food stamps for quite some time, and she never seemed to care.  My other grandma was rich as hell, but the family lost it all.  It's up to me now to decide what kind of life I want to live.  I don't want anyone else putting their bias views on me.  "Become a doctor or lawyer" is just about the worst thing I've encountered.  Everyone is different, but family cannot accept that.  They always want to control and manipulate who you actually are into something better or something that makes money.  

Ignorance is bliss.  I don't know how I'm still alive, but thank God I live somewhere clean and have food to eat.  Why must life be any more complicated?  Why must I have this burning desire to "become a doctor or layer"?  Why can't people just appreciate who they are and enjoy life?  No, it's not like that all.  Stepping on each others' toes', back stabbing each other, and yelling at each other in a degrading manner seems to be the way it is.  What can I say, but welcome to my ghetto life.                     

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