Monday, January 11, 2016

Happy Birthday to Me

"Solomon have you gotten fatter?"  "Yes, I have" for which I replied.  Well, it's my 31st birthday.  I had a small gathering with my family.  Everyone was alive and functioning.  No, things were not picture perfect but we enjoyed being at the restaurant for whatever little time we had together.  What makes me happy the most is making my own films, books, or music.  I have done none of those things in my life.  I like being creative.  It's my goal to produce at least something for next year.  I care much less about what people think about me.  I like creating things.  I like the photos I take.  I like the blog posts I write about.  I like making things and attaching my name on it, because it's mine.  It's my work of art, and I'm proud of it.  Yes, it's open and out there for anyone to judge but that's none of my business.  I'm just the artist.  I'm the producer.  Yes, people will say whatever they want.  My job is not to react and keep going with my work.  It's something you have to pickup and learn real fast or the negative/positive comments will go straight to your head and blowup like a balloon.  "No ego" is something my aunt told me when I was young when explaining to me how so many actors became so famous.  "They have no ego".  If you don't have an ego, you allow yourself to do whatever it is that'll eventually get you paid.  It's not shallow or filled with pride; it's just matter of business and how people get things done.  If you're too egotistical and arrogant, you'll never get anything done.

In any event, I'm a real x-ray technician.  Like a photographer or cinematographer, I roll a machine around and take pictures.  It's much easier to land a job in the healthcare sector and there's always plenty of sick people around to work for.  Anything else may have complicated me to the point of no return.  I always had a low budget and things just wouldn't have worked out economically otherwise.  You need a lot of money if you want to do something big.  Healthcare?  Well, people are always getting sick.  Yes, sick people will pay whatever for you to help them.  They'll pay the doctors and nurses who'll pay you to take their patients' x-rays.  Long story short, I need a job.  Hell, money doesn't grow off of trees.  I need to do whatever to survive just like everyone else.

About turning 31, it happens.  You can't be 5 years old forever.  You can't be in middle school forever.  You can't be in high school forever.  You eventually grow up; or just get older and creepier.  Welcome to being human.  If you're not getting older; you're dead.  "I found a job" that's basically what it comes down to.  I'm not sure if I ever cared about anything else.  I cared about girls before, but I also understand that doesn't lead anywhere unless the man in the relationship has money.  You need money.  What do you want me to tell you?  What it boils down to is simple:  No money; no honey.  Student loans?  I never believed in trapping myself in student loans.  I will also never be a lawyer and/or doctor because of it and that's okay too.  I can only handle so much as a person anyways.  I'm probably much happier and better off being a simple minded x-ray tech.  No, I don't want to worry about medical malpractice lawsuits.  No, I don't want to read 1000 page books each night.  No, no, and no.  You can go ahead and make your millions of dollars without me.  I just want to be able to work without having the stress of a stroke and/or heart attack and still go home at night to sleep with money in the bank.  I don't like the drama people bring to the table.  I do my job and that's it.  Yes, knowing people and networking is important; but someone like me can only handle so much.

Well, I do have some youtube videos and pictures of me floating somewhere around cyberspace.  I guess that's something.  Still, I want to make a product that doesn't suck.  Who knows when I turn the tide around?  Will I always just be a homeless?  Do I not have enough on the table?  Am I rich right now?  Hell, no.  I guess I just have to keep finding my thing and make a video out of it or something.  I'm pretty much a normal guy in everyday America.  I wake up in the morning, eat breakfast, go out and work, and come back home to eat dinner and sleep.  There doesn't seem to be much time for anything else like shoot a badass film, record a killer song, or practice playing the air guitar.  Where did my life go wrong?  I guess I should just be happy with what I have, but I still feel the need to GO ALL OUT AND FUCKING DO SOMETHING BIG!  I just want to be somebody, other than the school janitor, so bad.  I WANT IT ALL!  I DON'T WANT TO BE ANOTHER JOHN DOE.  But yes, this is real life and there are a lot of people out there just trying to stay alive.  Stay humble or go all out and die trying to hit it big time!?

Thanks for tuning in!                

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