Friday, January 2, 2015

Woke Up In the Morning - 7 AM

So I managed to wake up early in the morning for the hell of it.  No, I don't have school or work today.  I felt hungry and grabbed a bag of peanuts.  I then proceeded to the computer to check my emails and search for some motivational videos.  In all honesty, I was looking up Apocalypse from the X-Men move trailer.  It inspires me that someone can build themselves the way they want things to turn out and favor themselves over every other obstacle either it being something internal or external.  Regardless of being abandoned by his parents and horrible life situation, Apocalypse was capable of growing up and develop as a person.  True, he's evil but the same basic principals of hard work and striving to succeed apply.

Now that it's approaching 8 AM, I feel a bit weary and sleepy.  I always feel like of groggy in the morning.  I want to go out and venture into the world, but I also want to go back to bed.  The regret of the feeling of having done nothing but sleep lingers if I go back to bed, but I feel happy there.   What am I to decide?  Why to I always have this eagerness to go out into the world and do something?  Must I go to the gym this early when there's absolutely no immediate need?  Can't I just be happy in bed for an extra hour or two?  What is this hunger I have all the time to stop being lazy?  Can't I just go along with the laziness?  Why am I even having this argument?  I should just be doing whatever I feel like it on my days off.

So it is settled:  I will go back to bed and do whatever I need to do later in the day.  I idea of being a morning person has been abandoned yet again.  No matter how hard I've tried, I just don't function well in the morning time unless there's an immediate need.  The hell with it, see you guys when I'm up again.  I'm going back to bed where I'm most happy in the morning.  

So, I actually went back to bed and about 2 hours lapsed into 11 AM.  I woke up just to reach the computer and restart my computer game binge, which I'm so use to by now.  Yes, I've been playing Marvel Heroes online and it's a pretty good game with Juggernaut.  It was fun and the time went by fast.  Fun, yes it was fun, because I wasn't concerned or preoccupied with myself or my thoughts about being self conscious or caring about what others thought about me.  I was living in my own virtual world online where I could be my own self-destructive Juggernaut blowing up cars, people, and super baddies.  Next, I'm playing a game of League of Legends and that'll finish my addictive gaming habit for awhile.  After my ritual of gaming, I will proceed to drive to the post office and deliver my packages for my small company.  While still in the car, I manage to go to the gym for the rest of the day.  Yes, I'll be at the gym for the rest of the day.  After all, it's still Friday.  It's not like it's a Monday.  Could my morning have turned out any differently?  Could I have been more productive?  What am I missing?  Am I just doomed to keep repeating my same habits?  I'm not complaining; I had a great time in bed and surfing the gaming world.  I think I accomplished what everyone needs to do once in a while:  Have fun.  

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