Friday, April 3, 2015

Good Friday Day

We have the school day off, which means I don't have to "work" and/or "intern" at the hospital.  The very same hospital will be shutting down soon because they owe so much money to loans and whatever debt they've accumulated.  Are you serious?  Debt for being a hospital?  Having the right equipment and human resources is some kind of crime against financial resources.  Do you mean to tell me, you'd risk your financial livelihood and time to help out these poor people who get into everyday accidents, suffer from old age, chronological pathological issues, people in need of surgery, etc!?  There was this homeless who needed surgery, and he didn't even know what he was getting into.  Do you even think that homeless guy even registered for medicaid!?  Where in God's name are all these resources coming from?  The last think I would do is spend them on some random ass homeless guy who doesn't even care where he is.  Seriously, the hospitals in this area are not worth working for.  A lot of their patients are homeless and don't even speak English.  God forbid, they all come at once to the hospital causing a jam.  Can you imagine?  Handing all of your hours of sleep, money, and time to some stranger who doesn't even care to learn your language or bother showering?  I don't the circumstances or how bad life treats individuals, but poor people suck.  Don't have kids if you are poor, period.  But wait, there are many different examples of struggling poor children who grow up and become successful.  Maybe, there's a point to all of this and things just don't happen out of magic.  It's very hard to change anyone, so from the very beginning you know who you are.  Likewise, money can only bring out that individual's key trait(s) whatever it maybe.  I know for a fact I don't want to be poor.

So unless you get this amazing scholarship or prize money, don't ever go work at a hospital unless that's who you are.  It's not me.  I just got the unemployment tuition waiver.  Yes, I had to pay a bit here and there, but it was for the education.  I always wanted to learn money about the human body, and how I can take care of myself better.  We are all human, so I can also apply my knowledge in taking care of others.  But I'm not starting a multi million business, just enough for myself and whoever is there at the moment kind of a thing.  Yes, I have obtained much knowledge and experience.  I feel more wiser and knowledgeable about people and how to follow up if something should happen.  Without the education I had, I would never have engaged myself in learning about anatomy, physiology, pathology, and all this other crazy stuff about physics.  No, I have not mastered any kind of knowledge or practice, but it's enough for me to know what I need to know for everyday practical use.  If everyone took a year of school and learned about these medical subjects, I think there would be a better understanding of themselves as people.  What they do with the knowledge is not my responsibility, but I know it would make them better understand more about who and what they are.

There is no glamour or fame.  These patients you are "responsible" for are homeless, ugly, and smelly as hell.  At the same you're not making money off of them.  The money from your "customers" have to be coming from somewhere.  From what I've seen, this hospital business DOES NOT MAKE MONEY.  There are just too many homeless people in need of care that the hospital(s) is just unable to recuperate quick enough.  But overall, investing in healthcare is a safe bet in the stock market; BUT NOT WORKING FOR HEALTHCARE.  Working for healthcare is some mighty responsibility.  I considerate healthcare to be too personal, too emotional, too depressing, too smelly, too much work, and above all else IT DOESN'T PAY (that is unless you are a doctor or hard working nurse with sweat running up and down your entire body).  I am not a doctor or a nurse, so I shouldn't even bother.  Life is too short, I don't have time to be playing pretend.  You either are or aren't.  Some people are gifted and should be hired, others are just trying too hard.  Please, don't keep trying too hard, do whatever you are good at from the start.  I cannot emphasize this any more despite of what school may have brainwashed you about being a well rounded individual, do whatever you are good at.  Trying hard and studying can only get you so far until you meet that person who seems to be blessed with all the talent in the world.

Just look at all this resistance I have towards the medical field I'm in.  Do you think I'll ever be hired for the long run?  Hell no, there's just no way my personality likes this sort of thing.  I can mooch off whatever work schedule they give me until I go awry.  1 or 2 years, that's fine.  The vast majority of people who actually work in the hospital (or any job here) are mean as hell in nature because their jobs are so stressful and long.  Is there an alternative route like winning the lottery?  Sure, but that's just like saying magic rainbows, bunnies, and elves come out on Easter Sunday.

In fact, I hate to do a lot of different kinds of work.  Yup, I'm a hater just like everyone else.  Getting things done, working, making money, being successful . . . all these things are just a fantasy.  Haters gonna hate anyways.  When will I win the lottery?  When will I get that dream job?  When will I ever get my own place?  When will I stop being a homeless?  It feels like I've tried since forever but have gotten nowhere.  Maybe, instead of hating I should start appreciating the things I have.  Why can't having a single book about Steve Job's role model life be enough for me?  Why do I need ALL THE BOOKS to feel accomplished?  So instead of hating, I'm going to try and appreciate more.  Life is too short, and I don't want to be another one of those people who hate their jobs.  

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