The Daydreamer

Well, I guess this is me just wandering around the mall one day like I don't give a fuck.  Outside of work, who am I?  Who do I want to be?  Who do I want to be perceived as?  Who the hell is this guy?  No one likes a nobody.  No one wants to be that nobody in the story.  No one wants to be the homeless guy.  No want wants to be the invisible person.  Most of the time, I feel like I'm just an extra in the movie.  I don't really have a role nor do I really want one.  I'm pretty much just a wanderer.  I'm intelligent and aware of enough not to be just another sheep, but I'm just not there yet to fully define myself with an exact purpose and/or niche with direction.  Being accustomed to working all day, it's just pleasing for me to just loaf around and be a nobody.  I enjoy doing nothing.  I don't like having to work if I don't have to.  It's great and all to be SOMEBODY, but I really don't want to care sometimes.  Sometimes, I just walk around just for the hell of it.  I don't have to give a damn about what everyone else is doing with their time.  I just want to stroll around and not give a fuck.  I really don't care about being perceived as passive.  I'm not sure why males have to be seen acting overly aggressive and exhausting themselves to compete all the time like an animal.  Unless it's worth it, I'm not going to give crap.  Most of the time what happens is that the cops are called over something dumb, real dumb.  Sometimes, it's just dumb. Oh wow, like you've never seen a girl before?  It just gets dumb and dumber.  I would like to stay out of the drama as much as possible.  If you can pull it off without something dumb happening, great. 

When will I find myself?  Who is this guy?  Who do I want to be?  Who do I want to be for my audience?  What value do I provide to others?  Will anyone even be around when I'm there?  Who the fuck would even remotely care?  What the hell am I good for?  The hardest part is that no one else can answer these questions accept me.  The same goes for you.  Who the hell are any of us?  Who do you really want to be remembered as?  Who the fuck do I really want to be remembered as?  Am I just another "some guy"?  Can I be someone who's actually fucking useful for once?  Is my job just to stand there and look pretty?

And on that day, no one gave a fuck.  Just no one cared that day.  I woke up, did my daily whatever, enjoyed my video games, Netflix, and did whatever.  No teachers, no parents, no anybody was involved, just me.  Thou shall not give a fuck about me.  I lived this day like no one gave a fuck.  I lived, didn't get accosted for anything stupid, and continued with my life.  No fucks were given that day.  Exactly zero fucks were given that day.  Nothing was accomplished.  Nothing was achieved.  It was just pure living like any other passing day on this planet.  Did I REALLY WANT to BE SOMEBODY that day?  Yes, I wanted to be at least millionaire since forever, but unfortunately that would have taken A TON of WORK.  In any event, the next best thing for me was just to wander around, looking for sales and coupons to use, and just NOT CARE.  In reality I didn't want to be a somebody for anybody which was also the laziest thing to do at the time.  Everything else like having tons of money, being on TV, chasing around girls, etc. was just another daydream around the corner.  Trust me, if you're not working hard at something in the present moment then you're probably just daydreaming like me.  Don't be like me.  Don't be daydreaming.  Go make that money, work on your craft, go chase that girl, and go live your life to the fullest.  You still have time.  It's your time to shine.

Well, that's been me in a nutshell: Thou shall not give a fuck.  Sometimes, it's just up to God to ultimately decide whether you'll be born with a certain look, height, talent, IQ, EQ, social skill level, language learning ability, math ability, athleticism, rich/poor family, etc.  Long story short, this is it girl.  This is what you get from me.  This is who I am.  This is who you'd be marrying.  You either take me as I am and appreciate the time we have together; or you'll just end up complaining and bitching.  This is it.  This is it for the both of us.

Thank you for stopping by and reading.  I wish everyone the best.  Until next time!