Crazy Dream - Illuminati Shit

I had the most craziest dream last night.  It all started when I frequented my local brothel during the quarantine.  I wasn't expecting much.  None of the dancers were there.  The environment and scenery were a bit different than the actual brothel I go to, but none the less I was well aware what it was.  So I was just hanging out there and exploring the place.  Little by little, women would start showing up sitting down on couches, ordering food, and just trying to have a good time by themselves.  It was very nice inside with marble floor, grand piano, slot machines, movie theaters, and even a large Christmas tree toward the front entrance.  Any who, this place would just keep magically presenting new things that haven't been there before.  The next thing I knew, I went downstairs and was watching some new The Matrix and X-Men movie.  It must have been Peter Parker explaining how X-Men was like The Matrix but only in 3D.  In any event, Spider-Man shows up and starts webbing the ceiling beam mounts and creates some weird new technology out of it all like some kind of weird 5D experience with flashy 3D graphics.  It was really wild and crazy.  I don't think I can explain it in human terms.  Afterwards, I'm talking to this little boy sitting next to me.  He's talking to me like he knows me as "Solomon".  I asked him how do you know my name?  He replied with "Because of your wrist band".  Next, I see a lady ask if anyone needed a nail.  The little boy raise his hands.  Surprisingly, the lady takes out a hammer and nails down a metal shackle looking device on the boy's feet.  Holy shit, this child was a slave!  At the same time, I guess my Mom was calling me to getup and leave.  Before departing, I gave the child a five dollar bill and a single, totaling $6.  It was a sad moment as he struggled to take more money from my wallet.  It was shameful how I felt so greedy, trying to keep everything I had when there was someone else who obviously really needed it; but I had my boundaries.  I was a very surreal feeling.  On one hand, someone was in need but on the other hand I needed to protect myself from being robbed.  I felt like I was the rich asshole this time.  Moving forward in my dream, I met my family friend Emmanuel.  He showed up randomly with his wife trying to play the slot machines just as I started grabbing money from one of the machines that was just spitting out money for whatever reason.  So we hangout a short bit.  Back to my Mom, we had lunch downstairs.  While I was eating a delicious plate of fried rice, there was some weird orange hair alien creature shackled up in the corner.  Then, his parents showed up but were kind of cool. I distinctively remember the alien humanoid creature(s) having orange hair.  The last part of the dream was when this pharaoh figure coming out and trying to establish order.  He was bald and creepily white with a purple robe.  With a loud voice he was commanding the slave children, trying to stop people from having fun, and literally being the stickler.  I guess this must be the head hancho of the place.  No, he wasn't very nice.  In any event, I recall having an epiphany about how this is the way "Illuminate" operates with slave children and basically trying to get everyone to cooperate and do as they say.  Yup, it was a pretty dark dream.

Peace out

Take 100% Responsibility

I am responsible.  I am responsible for writing this.  I am responsible for cleaning up after myself.  I am responsible should I happen to eat too much and become fat.  I am responsible for buying too much crap I don't need.  I am responsible for pushing an old lady out of my way at the supermarket.  I am responsible for speeding.  I am responsible for going to bed at night.  I am responsible for anything I do. 

Well, the hardest part of being human is being responsible for ourselves.  The truth is most of us don't want to be responsible.  We are afraid of failure.  We are afraid we may do something wrong.  Sometimes, we don't even care what we do and just want to have a fun time.  Unfortunately, we come to a point in time where we all have to face the music as an individual.  We all make our own conscious decision.  We can't follow the herd mentality forever.  Eventually, there will be a point where all wrong doings will be notified and even punished for that matter.  Likewise, there will be a time individuals will be rewarded for doing what is perceived as good.  In any event, we should all be mindful about our actions and responsibilities throughout the day.  

To be fair, it's hard for any of us to take 100% for our own actions.  None of us wants to do all the work.  None of us wants to be blamed for any misshapen.  I write about this time and time again.  We become our habits.  It is our habits that defines us, day in and day out.  Sometimes, I just want an "I don't care button", but in reality doing nothing and not caring is also a choice that has its ramifications just like everything else.  No, I don't want to be that homeless guy on the street corner.  I need to find a life for myself that is somewhat balanced.  I want to be productive by not being overburdened by a huge laundry list of a workload.  I also don't want to be that asshole who doesn't do anything.  Life is a delicate balance between two opposing forces.  Welcome to the world of duality.

So many wants, so many dislikes and complaints, so many things to do, but we only have so little time during the day.  What do I prioritize?  What things are even worth doing?  These are the questions that I ask and must answer everyday.  While I was a struggling student at Rutgers University, I recall a fellow student advise me: You need to get your priorities straight.  I need to get my priorities straight?  What the fuck could that possibly mean without offending my ego?  Is getting into college and taking classes not enough?  Obviously, there was something more to life than being  a  sheep following the shepherd to the slaughter house.  Am I not using my time wisely?  Must I become someone or something that I'm not?  Do I dare to challenge myself and achieve popularity despite the overcoming odds?  What in God's name are MY PRIORITIES?  Nothing could be better in this world than taking care of yourself.  Yes, you must be able to take care of yourself before achieving anything else.  Fame, fortune, money, expensive things, .etc doesn't matter much if your hospitalized on your death bed somewhere.  Some of us aren't all that materialistic and greedy.  There's something inside of me that expresses an emotion beyond such a low vibratory frequency.  This higher calling of feelings may be termed as love or compassion where things like money, technology, fame, and fortune doesn't even matter.  While working I once overheard a family member mention "care is worth every ounce in gold".  To actually care and give a shit about someone is important.  Unfortunately, we are "all" wired to worship all things Hollywood, gold, cars, money, power, sex, fame, fortune, nice houses, etc.  Seriously, where is the love?  It's not a nice feeling when no one cares about your birthday.  "I love you" . . . where is the "I love you" these days? 

It's funny how I just sat here and wrote this piece.  Maybe, it's from years of living or maybe it's because of the connection I have with my mind heart chakras.  I believe we all have a higher self.  We download information all the time, especially when we sleep.  Sometimes, I just take a walk and refresh myself.  No, I don't need a ton of money.  No, I don't need to put it on Instagram.  No, I'm not even the right fit to be spreading my face all over social media.  I would just get so much unwanted attention.  I also wouldn't even care much to respond to anyone.  In any event, no one will care about you unless you care about them.  I guess this must be the case, my case.  Because I don't care enough about MY AUDIENCE, they won't view MY CONTENT.  Therefore, since my views are extremely low; I guess I just don't care enough to be reaching out to people.  Maybe, this whole social media thing is more for me venting as opposed to actually communicating and caring about others?  Again, no one wants to be that asshole who doesn't do or contribute anything.

In the end of days, there's not much going on here.  It's mostly just me, my blog, and the stuff I've been hoarding throughout the years.  When I'm done punching out of the clock, when I'm done going to work, when I'm done with my computer, who will be there for me?  Who?  Who in God's name would care other than me, myself, and I? 

That's it for me today.  I don't expect a miracle to be happening anytime soon.  Maybe, this is the present I want?  Maybe, this is the existence that I feel is right for me?  Do I really want to be surrounded by assholes that I call friends?  All I know is I can take 100% responsibility of myself of what I do and what I say.  Sometimes, the best thing I can do is not say anything; therefore I don't have to listen to any bullshit coming back to me.  Again, maybe spending time alone is the best option for taking care of myself.  

Thank you for stopping by.  I hope you have a blessed day.  Take care.       

Solomon

      

Out of Space; Out of Time

Well, here it is: I'm full of shit.  There are just boxes stocked on top of boxes of crap.  These are books and magazines that I will never read.  These are old electronics which will probably never be used again.  Time after time again, the only thing that remains is the junk that we leave.  I can guarantee you that if I threw out all these boxes of crap, no one would care.  In fact, I may as well just leave them in front of one of my local libraries.  As they say: Another man's trash is another man's treasure.  We all fall into this category of hoarding shit, because we don't know how to spend our time wisely.  We suffer from the scarcity mindset, never knowing when our next meal will be so we start grabbing and taking everything under the false impression that it maybe worth millions down the road.  Unfortunately, how much money do you think you can make from reselling all of this shit?  How much fucking time do you think you have to be sitting outside and hosting a garage sale?  As an adult, you really feel it.  You feel that time is precious.  Time is all that we have.  In the end, we don't need stuff.  I repeat, we don't not really need all that much stuff.  It's just that we suffer from a poverty mindset.  As mother Theresa has once said:  There is no one who has gone poor from giving.  It's such an easy concept to understand and preach, but do any of us live it? 

I am stuck.  I am stuck by the madness.  I am stuck by the stuff.  I am stuck by the low level vibratory frequency of hoarding things.  I wish to be free from my shackles.  I wish to stop being a hoarder.  I believe that I don't need all of this fluff.  I believe that there is an underlying reason why I keep all this carp around.  Maybe, I just want to show off?  Maybe, I want to really impress someone that I read all these books?  Maybe, I just don't want to care anymore.

All I really know is that I don't need to surround myself with excessive amounts of crap anymore.  There is just too much stuff to be accountable for.  My goal is to reduce and eliminate my Earthly baggage.  Hopefully, these books can find a new home.  Maybe, I can help a young person out.  I want my donated books given to children, not adults trying to resell them.  Does our donations ever make it to the ones in need?  I have my doubts, but I sure hope so.  Books . . . so many books.  You can never have too many books until they fill your house with too much shit.  No, having too much shit in your home is not sexy and everyone notices how much of a pack rat you are.  People also notice how empty your home is.  Between the lesser of the two evils, I would rather have less stuff.  It's much less work to move and manage things than it is to be overbearing with stuff.  There's no one else around except me to deploy this monstrosity. 

I have to work outside of actual paid working hours at a real job.  Well, see you all later.  Thank you for your 1 view.

THE PURGE

After retaking and passing my exam that I just failed, I need to purge my room of ancient old crap.  I have way too much baggage on my hands.  The vast majority of it has been untouched for several years after the ending of a school semester.  In a world dominated by industry and money making schemes, who the hell cares about old text books?  I'm sorry, but old text books should be removed from my household.  They prove of no use to anyone except dust collecting.  No, I'm not a genius who would read old text books from college for fun.  In fact, it's a pretty big waste of my time as I don't recall information that well anyways.  The extent of how much space and time all this excessive crap takes is phenomenal.  For the last time, no one reads old school text books for fun.  This bullshit has got to go.  No one cares, literally means NO ONE CARES.  If you want information on the stop, use the internet.  Everything is online now.  When the academic school system and professors are updating their textbooks every year to milk their students for profit to buy new text books for hundreds of dollars, there's going to be a lot of bullshit.  It's just too much bullshit.  Once again, no one needs that shit.  Sorry, I could care less about impressing anyone with having old school books around in this day and age. 

Hope for humanity . . .I hope that one day, my life can make more sense.  I hope to live a life that isn't just a room full of random shit of hoarding.  I want to do what I love doing.  I want to collect things that are worth a damn.  If it's not important, please don't waste my time on more garbage.  I don't regret anything I've done, but I just wish I knew what to do better with MY TIME.  Staying out of trouble and not doing anything could have been a possible solution, but maybe there was something more?  Maybe, just maybe there was an alternative way for success.  None the less, I continue to reach out further into the stars.

Thank you for stopping by. I hope to write some more.
 

My Exam is a Fail

Well, I need to pass my exam so I can become a fully registered and licensed.  What can be worse than waiting for your results.  My preliminary score was 73, but you need a 75 to pass.  Huh, I'm barely even able to survive in my field.  No, I didn't expect to get a 100%; but 75 is not asking for much now is it?  Therefore, who am I to say I'm right all the time?  For one thing, I am nothing more than just one of life's many students.  Yes, I've probably put in more hours of studying and readying than my peers; but I'm still learning.  Disappointment, shame, guilt, worry, etc.  All of these negative emotions come arising finding out I didn't pass a simple exam.  Don't you understand?  Receiving one of the lowest scores just to pass?  This is not anywhere being an overachiever.  This is some pretty low standards to be honest.  I just feel like I deserve a second chance.  None the less, I'm still waiting for my final results.  I still have time to take another test. 

I feel ashamed.  I believed in myself.  I did the work.  I believed in what I was doing.  I believed in working hard.  I got up, got myself prepared, and did the work.  I can't believe this.  How could I possibly fail at something I do on the job everyday?  Perhaps, I should never change my answers on the test when reaching the end the exam.  I mean this shouldn't even be a thing.  Why am I struggling just to squeeze in 1 or 2 points just to pass?  No, I'm not a genius on paper or real life.  It's clear to me that I just don't know the answer to many of life's questions.  Good lord, I need help from above.  I thought I had it.  I thought my hard work and studying would pay off.  I'm at a lose here.  Maybe, I'll get demoted or something.  It's okay though.  I'll continue to work hard and learn regardless of being demoted.

Demotion, yes a demotion.  What if you found yourself making $100 an hour and all the sudden you've been demoted to a grocery clerk making $8 an hour.  That would be pretty devastating right?   Well, I guess it's similar to my case.  If I don't pass this exam before my deadline, I will be demoted.  There's nothing worse than having to do more work and making less money.  Worse case scenario, I will continue to work but with less pay.  I will continue to work but be in a lesser position.  How low can one go?  How high can one go up?  Well, I'm not a doctor and/or lawyer so I wouldn't know how'd that feel.  How ever long it will take me, I will try and pass my registration exam.  I have up to 3 years or whatever to take it up to 3 times.  If I have to continue on this dark path for 3 years, I will do it.   

As you can see, I am the definition of mediocracy.  No, I'm not a genius.  No, I didn't save the world.  Yes, I am delusion just because I've landed a 9-5 job that pays a little more than minimum wage.  Well, there are doctors, lawyers, and Jeff Bezo out there making a killing.  Who am I to have a big ego?  Who am I to tell you what is right and what is wrong?  I am just a humble student.  Please forgive me for my failures.  I will study harder.  I will put more effort into my endeavors.  I will play less video games.  I will sleep less.  I will focus more on my craft.  I will focus more on my business.  I will focus more on my job.  I will focus more on my continual education.  I am determined to do better on my exam. 

Thank you for stopping by.  I hope I get a second chance.  I'll be letting my readers know for next time.  Hopefully, the pandemic has extended my window frame of time to take my 2nd attempt. See you all next time!

Save More Money with Geico Car Insurance

Well, here it is: My $238.89 or $39.85 per month for 6 months Geico car insurance during the pandemic.  You get a 15% credit applied to your policy at this time.  Here are my other discounts applied to how much I usually pay:

So yeah, I've been reduced to adding more value to my page by posting my Geico monthly car payment.  Meh, I guess the entire world is owned by the corporations.  I mean, I have had a total of like 1 or 3 views.  In the end of days, who the fuck is going to give a damn @_@  Oh wow, saving money this?  Oh wow, save money that?  Oh wow, make money this!  Oh wow, make money that!  After a while, who really gives a fuck anymore >_<

Other than obsessing about money and being cheap, I hope to find more value in life.  Yes, I have been helping people save lives and all but that does not mean I'm adding much value to my blog material.  I guess I just suck at money.  Literally, I am a walking ghetto.  I suck at making money.  I've been sucking at making money.  I'm not someone who should setup an Employer ID with the town's cleric office.  If I were the boss of a company, my employees would be starving.  No, it's not cool being a shitty boss.  No, it's not funny appearing to be weak among your competitors.  In the midst of competition, I guess most people are forced to fake it until you make it.  Yup, it's all just a game of confidence.  Nothing is more important than self confidence - Ip Man.

Well, if you haven't done anything yet it's probably because you're lazy.  Welcome to being lazy.  Time passes by, you get hungry, and you start eating.  The next thing you know, you feel tired from being full and you want to take a nap or play video games.  

The vicious cycle continues.  I'm not sure why I'm stuck in this matrix or why it perpetuates like a repeating Nintendo game, but I'll be back here to post something when something is actually worth posting.  Thank you for stopping by and reading my content.  One day, I'll get off of my ass and do something important (outside of my normal work schedule).  Maybe, maybe working a 9-5, dedicated to saving lives, is as much as I can do.  Whatever it is, this is it.  Seriously, lying down and taking a nap is all I ever really did.  I have had dreams of making videos, writing books, producing new creative content but guess what?  Tomorrow never comes.  The food comes, the sleeping, the playing of video games, etc.  I am a never been.  I never have been producing much of anything worth while with my name attached to it.  I may have read or watch someone else's work but nothing of my own.  I am waiting for that day that I'll actually produce something worth a fuck.  

Peace out.  See you next time!  

    

Staying Humble

Well, by now we've saved well over 1,200 patients lives from the virus.  Look, I put in my time and effort to do my best.  No, I'm not God.  No, I'm not a super hero.  No, I don't want to have a giant ego and float around life with a big head.  I want to be humble.  No matter what I accomplish in life, I want to be low key about it.  Humanity has suffered from giant egos for far too long.  I've always felt that being too arrogant was somehow toxic.  If you want to play the game of dominance and finding a mate, being an asshole may help an individual leap over mountains; but for everyday living it just gets in the way from someone trying to learn and grow as person.  No, you don't want to be that guy fighting and arguing all the time.  No, you don't want to waste time being a jerk and trying to one-up everyone.  There are tons of examples and we all know who these kinds of assholes are, but of all honesty the answer is just NO.  Instead of being an egotistical maniac who thinks he is right all the time, I'd like to be more balanced.  Because when you're more balanced and open, you learn more.  You aren't stuck in your old ways.  You aren't there to argue with everyone.  You aren't there to have to defend yourself if someone has a negative opinion about you.  In other words: Don't get weird.  

No, at the age of 35 I'm still not a millionaire.  No, I have accomplished much even though I saved a few lives.  I'm sure there have been doctors and nurses before me who have saved thousands of lives.  In comparison, I'm just an ordinary layman.  No, I don't know everything.  No, I'm not the best around.  Hell, I don't even have a doctorate.  Hell, I don't even have a master's degree.  Hell, I don't even care anymore about the American education system because it's broken.  As long as I'm receiving my biweekly paycheck, I'm not going to give two shits.  I know I'm Asian and there's a whole train ride of Tiger parents who are into this kind of stuff, but as for me . . . No ones gives a fuck.  No, I don't want to be in debt.  No, I don't want to feel like a slave.  No, I don't want to get myself into that negative, toxic vibe like I don't know any better.  For God sake, there is more to life than just money and social status.  Whatever happened to just being happy?  

So whatever, you're a doctor; you make millions of dollars; you have all these nice shiny things; etc. I'm happy for you.  Now, help out the community.  Help out your family and friends.  Help out the homeless.  Help someone in need.  If everyone else seems spoiled and entitled just find somewhere else they'd appreciate you.  No, it's not easy.  Ultimately, like anything else you have to grow up and get out of your comfort zone or things start becoming toxic.  Maybe you like it toxic?  There's no real right or wrong in life, but there's such a thing as being of service and helping others in need.

Thank you for stopping by.  Thank you for those who've been helping.  Thank you for the gift of humility.  I'll see you next time!