Old Habits Don't Die

After being conditioned to work everyday like a slave,  what do you do with your time off!?  It's incredible that you are finally "free"!  So, what do you do with your time?  What do you really want to do?  Having time off from work is just the beginning.  For me, I still wanted "to work".  Wait, what!?  Yes, you become the habits that you form during your lifetime doing whatever it is you've been doing.  We are whatever habits we form.

So what have I been really doing after I left my 24/7 mobile x-ray job?  I've been sleeping late and waking up late.  Whatever I transformed myself into during my job hours, I'm back to where I started from, a homeless.  Without money, cash, credit, coupons, treasure, pirate booty, or any kind of incentive for putting effort into something; I don't care.  Literally, I don't care nor do I want to care; but I still have this pulsating vibe in my soul to be doing something productive.  Other than to acquire more money, I don't know what that "doing something productive" is quite exactly.  I would like to know what that something is, but it's like I'm not suppose to be aware of what it is.  As a result, whatever the hell it is I'm doing right this instant is that something productive I'm suppose to be doing.  With a little bit of imagination and creativity that something could be anything really.  I'm not limited or bound by any field and/or subject matter.  I'm basically here to discover and learn new things.  It's like being "Jack of all trades, master of none."  Yes, I know these kinds of people don't make as much money as specialists do; but this is who I am basically.      

Without any external devices, societal controls, or emphasis on acquiring acquisitions this is what I do for the vast majority of the day that I would normally do without much effort or having to think twice about it:

• SLEEP/REST/DREAM/OUTER BODY EXPERIENCES 
• EAT (HOMES AND/OR OUTSIDE)
• LAZE ON THE COMPUTER
• AUDIOBOOKS
• GAMING 
• EXERCISE
• PRACTICE MEDITATION 

As you can see, other than to take care of myself mentally, physically, and spiritually; I naturally don't care much about anything else.  Who am I really?  I'm just someone who wants to take care of myself.  Being on television and showing off my acting skills has never been my thing.  Networking and going out to talk to people about business has never been my thing either.  All of this power tripping and making money stuff has been brought on by societal conditioning over the years.  If all of this bullshit is taken out, I'll be back to my normal, homeless ass self.   

So what's missing in this whole picture?  Where is the growth?  Where is the learning?  Where is the productivity?  Where is the meaning?  Where is the essence?  Well, if you're happy all the time; you can't grow.  You have to challenge yourself everyday.  You have to embrace the failure and negativity in order to succeed.  So yes, always develop the skill sets and have experience to solve difficult problems and managing potentially hostile situations.  No, being a homeless is not the answer.  Being able to grow, learn, solve problems, and experience new things is always going to be a thing and you can only get there through hard trials, failure after failure, and going through tough shit.  

Thank you for visiting.  I hope you learned something.  I'll see you next time!