The Everyone Else Syndrome

Oy vey, the insurance lady tried to put a hold on me to get into the life insurance sales gig.  I don't know about you, but this life insurance business is big in New Jersey.  Unfortunately, I'm probably not the right guy to be selling people life insurance.  First of all, I don't believe in it enough to sell it to people.  What are the chances of someone buying life insurance from me?  It sounds kind of weird doesn't it?  The thought of me having to actually introduce myself to a random stranger and sell them something like life insurance is so alienating.  It's as though I'm just another tool of a larger organization.  Second of all, I don't believe I can find and/or collaborate a team of confident salesmen to be selling life insurance.  Who the hell is interested in selling life insurance unless they were in some kind of Nazi internment camp and their life was dependent on it?  Lastly, I'm not that outgoing.  Someone is probably just going to say no and in an instant I don't care to go any further with it anymore.  Real sales people don't care if someone says no.  They just keep going and moving on to their next victim.  You can go push out this life insurance sales agenda all you want, I can really care less.  If it involves me having to cold call or talk to someone I just met and try to convince them to buy something from me, it's probably not going to workout well. 

Wow, someone is making a million dollars this year!  Guess what they didn't tell you!?  It's 99.99% of the time probably not you!  It's someone else who is not you getting rich!  It's hard enough for me to wake up out of bed, let alone initiating a conversation with someone I'm not fond with and having them buy a life insurance policy from me.  Any ways, this insurance lady was trying to entice me with big stories of other insurance sales people with huge swings and gains.  Having two private jets, huh?  What is it to me?  Owning two private jets doesn't really mean much to me.  I'm sure there are tons of millionaires out there who are selfish and self serving as all Hell.  What does any of this have to do with me?  I've been poor my whole life.  What will owning a private jet do for me?  I don't even have a license to fly.  I don't even have the money to hire a pilot.  Do you know how much God damn paper work I'd have go through to have my own private jet in running condition?  Why don't I just go buy a God damn plane ticket from United Airlines like a normal person.  There's just a huge disconnect between getting me to be a life insurances salesmen.

I am not an insurance salesmen nor can I miraculously assemble a functioning team whom is competent enough to sell life insurance at an economically sustainable level.  I'd rather just work at Costco as a boring cashier for $15 for the next ten years or if I die of stroke from boredom.  Well, that's my two cents for the day.  I was given an opportunity to step up my game to not only help myself but to help others buy life insurance.  So this is it, huh?  Sorry, but it just doesn't interest me.  You can give me 1000 hours of free life insurance salesmen educational hours and an official license; and I still wouldn't see the light of day with it.  In other words, it's useless to me.  It's not what you know, it's who you know.  I mean, who the hell is going to sit down with me and talk about buying a God damn life insurance policy?  Are you mad?  Do you know who I am?  Don't you know how lazy I am?  Do you know how much I don't care?  Hey, I'm just telling you all the God's honest truth so no one gets lead on or hurt by my lack of communication.  I told you fare and square.  I don't want to pretend that I care about your business.  I am an asshole.  You can't convert me to be a life insurance salesmen.  Amen the end.

Thank you visiting.  I've been having 1 visitor thus far in the past week since my revival.  I would like to give a special shout out to that one viewer I have.  Thank you!  You're the reason why my blog still exists!   I hope to see you next time!

The Joy of Not Giving a F*ck

Yup, welcome to the world of not giving a damn.  After the 9-5 is said and done, you leave your worries and troubles at the workplace and get to go home.  Having the ability to not care is a luxury that some people just can't afford.  When I saw my old boss's eyes turning all red with bags under his eyes, I knew that was not who I wanted to be in life.  Yes, it's cool and all to be the boss of your own franchise or business; but what's the point in this lifetime when you're probably the bitch of other higher ups on top of you that can't be touched anyways?  What was the point of this overworked man trying to work more hours into the night?  Why was he so controlling?  Why was he so concerned about his business?  You can sense this was a mad man who needed absolute control over every little detail and aspect of his life.  Other than having an obvious mental problem, seeking such power and and an overwhelming sense of determination to become the greatest overworked workaholic of all times just didn't add up to me.  Why?  I knew he has two kids and a wife to support but from the looks of it he treated everyone else like crap anyways.  What is the deal?  I guess America just brings out the worse in people.  Most of the time, industry requires people to be ruthless, conniving backstabbing assholes for the soul purpose of making money; which is ultimately why everyone would want to stash money away in their retirement account every step of the way just to get out of this hellish cycle of greed. 

So what is this bigger picture I'm not getting?  Why work so hard?  Is it really about service to others?  How can we help ourselves in the process of helping others?  What is the true path to enlightenment?  Why are we still "trapped" in this third dimensional reality?  Is all this money and industry really worth sacrificing over keeping the planet a healthy and wholesome place?  Well, welcome to the hell.  It is because of greed that people are suffering.  If industry have set their primary interests in actually helping people and alleviating pain and suffering, we wouldn't be in the mess that we're in now.  Yes, people are suffering from obesity and diabetes from overeating fast food.  How is this a conspiracy?  Do you not see the truth?  Do you not see the smog and pollution coming out of the chimney of factories?  Do you not see the rush hour jammed packed traffic?  And to top it all off, the beds in all the hospitals are always full to the max.  Everyone is always waiting for a bed to be opened.  Yes, the world really needs some divine assistance.

Who cares if you prove me wrong or if I said something stupid that offends you?  Why is it that if there's a solution to a problem that can help someone triggers a select few of individuals to go ape shit and start writing hate comments?  Do you want the planet to be stuck with fossil fueled cars, overpriced electricity bills, GMO foods, air pollution, smog, diabetes, etc. ?  Do people constantly suffering and dying make you happy?  Do you feed off of this negative energy?  . . .  Who the f*ck is really up there watching over us? 

Yes, the reality is there are evil negative beings who are parasitic to our planet Earth.  Some are even among us now.  We have all inherited DNA from all different groups and walks of life on this planet.  Without a doubt, this Earth is a very diverse place full of different lifeforms and species of different humans, animals, and plant life.  So what's the point in knowing all of this information?  Most people don't care nor want to know.  As for me, I just don't want to feel enslaved.  Do you think it's fun working in a rat race?  Do you think people want to leave work with blood shot red eyes with bags drooping down?  It's as though our whole world has been priming and grooming us to live this life of enslavement.  At the end of the day, all anyone can really care about is coming home to their paycheck.

Whoever is up there is whatever, but do I really care enough to do anything that'll have a long, lasting impact on the world?  Can I amount to anything more than service to self?  Am I even capable of serving others?  Through the food we eat, vaccinations we get as babies, to the air we breathed, it's as though we have given all our sovereignty to cooperate America and its industries. 

Well, it's my bedtime already.  I have to wake up early in the morning and get to work, of course.  Duh, we should all know this by now.  Thanks for taking your time out of your day and reading my blog.  Knowing that I only have an average of 1 view these past days, I appreciate it.  I hope to see you next time.
 



   
   

1 Year Has Gone by in a Flash

Yes, it's been over a year since I've filed a new unemployment claim, yet again.  Now, I'm on my path of recovery.  I'm continuing my CAT SCAN internship at a nearby hospital.  As I am trying to resist from going back to old bad habits like sitting around playing video games, taking ridiculous long naps after eating, watching a porno, engaging in online shopping, or any other time wasting activity; I am making an attempt to continue blogging and keep a record of what the hell is it that I am doing each and everyday with my free time.  That is just what it is:  Free time.  I am free to do whatever the hell I want.  I am not heavily restricted by work hours or anyone having to watch over my shoulder constantly.  We all wished we had a little more free time to ourselves.

. . . With all this free time, the next thing you know I have to work again . . .

Where did it all go wrong? Well, I always found the feelings of security and progress in the school system.  But guess what?  Everyone eventually graduates and you're on your own.  At some point, there will be no more teachers and parents helicoptering parenting you every step of the way.  So what's left really?  Yup, it's not what you know; it's who you know.  The kids who get jobs early on have parents and friends who are already connected to the system in some way, shape, or form.  The connections you form with other people matter.  Unfortunately, I'm a robot and only want to work.  You can be hardworking, but the ones who do get the jobs are more open and friendly to other people. 

So much bullshit involving people, miscommunication, human errors, people getting randomly hurt/sick, drama, old age, wasting time, etc.  When all is said and done, I'm just happy to go home to my paycheck at the end of the week.  I don't care.  If I don't have money, it's probably because I didn't work hard enough for it or didn't react fast enough to predict any potential risk(s) and/or imminent downfalls to investing. 

It just turned 7:30 PM and it's already pitch black outside.  Where did the time go?  I was worried about not getting enough sleep as soon as I drove back home from the hospital (internship) around 3:30 PM and now it's already dark outside.  What in the hell happened? 

. . . Time is up .  . . No more bullshit.  Just wake up in the morning, go to work, do your thing, work, work, and work some more, and go home.  Also, make sure you don't get any fatter while on the job.  This pretty much sums up what success means in America.  Well, so long for taking care of yourself and your well being.  Sacrifices must be made to ensure that paycheck of yours.  This is not Europe or even Mexico.  People who work don't get naps or long vacations.  People work like dogs in America just to survive.  It's a terribly unbalanced system of life or death.  It's no wonder why the hospital(s) is always full patients.  It's a double edged sword.  On one side, you always have business and money flowing in.  On the other, you have tired, overworked employees. What else is there more to say? 

I hope to see you all next time.  Take care and peace out!   

Useless Man

. . .  I didn't come back.  I didn't care.  I just left and was like whatever.  I can only imagine this is what happens to a lot of startup companies and or businesses.  You must be consistent and dedicated to what you want to achieve in life.  Do you have the luxury to just not care one day, getup, and leave?  If you want a business, you have to take care of your customers.  You have to keep things up to date every single day or no one else will care.

As you can see I've hit an all time low in just not caring about my blog anymore.  Will I ever recover from this great depression?  Is it a problem of not generating enough income?  Am I not entertaining?  Why do I not have an audience?  All of these things can be answered by "Because I'm lazy".  I am a lazy sack who just doesn't care.  If I did care at some point; it would have been only temporary.  There's very little or no incentive to continue unless there was some kind of monetary gain involved.  For a long time, I'm doing what I am doing for fun and then all of sudden I crash one day.  This has been a repeating pattern in my life for quite some time now.

So are there any solutions to this lazy affair of being absolutely useless to society?  It's as though some people get prone to becoming lazier overtime.  If that is the case, then all you have left really is investing all your money into the stock market.  Exercise and dieting will only help so much until another relapse.  Yes, cutting out excessive amounts of sugar, salt, and carbs will do wonders but that's just not enough.  Yes, exercise will vastly improve one's overall health as well but that's still something that you need to be consistent with everyday (or every other day).  The hell with it, life is hard.  Keeping up your health and financial well being is no easy task.

Thank you for visit.  I hope to see you next time! 

   

The 1 View Wonder

Well, I have exactly 1 view for my last post.  I haven't posted in God knows how long.  For a long while I just stopped blogging and did my own thing while collecting free government handouts. Minimum effort equals minimum wage.  As you can see, putting in something that is half-ass will never amount to anything of significance or important.  Most likely you will not get the desired results you want.  Meaning you will not get the customer's attention, you will not get the maximum number of views, you will not get the audience, and lastly you will get any monetary gain whatsoever.  This is exactly why I do not freak out or get upset over the little things in life, because it doesn't matter.  Arguing with people over small little petty things also falls under the same boat.  No matter how much you try and convince everyone you're right or at a minimum not at fault, you'll never get famous or produce anything of significance over it.  It's just another waste of time.  Some may argue that all these little petty increments of fighting and squabble builds character and maybe even resilience, but that's just not me.  

I got to run, I'll be back to finish.

A New Beginning

Well, I've been training for a month or two doing CAT SCAN at the hospital now.  With all the intricate details aside, I'm slowly getting tired like having a real job.  Thank God, it's not as bad as my last job having to drive all day and visit nursing homes.  Regardless of what I like, life has to go on and life is expensive.  So why do I keep putting myself in a position that I hate and can't stand?  Well, it's simple:  I have kids to feed".  I have bills to pay.  Housing is expensive.  Food is expensive.  Education is expensive.  Commuting is expensive.  Everything is expensive.  Without having to grind a job you hate for a paycheck, I don't know what else is out there for you.  Pray that you land a job you actually like and can enjoy for a long time.  Nothing else is worse than being stuck in a dead end job you hate doing everyday just to pay the bills.  Sorry, I wouldn't want to have kids in this world unless I've somehow setup myself in a winning position where I don't feel like a slave to the system.  My trump card could have been real estate or winning the lottery, but no.  Much like most people I still kind of feel just like another cog in the wheel.  Even if I had millions of dollars, I don't think I would ever pursue a lifetime of work in a hospital helping people.  No, I'm not proud of myself.  No, I don't like being a bum.  No, I do not like being of service to self.  I would like to be more service to others, but it takes a lot more time and effort.  To be able to help another human being, you really need patience and tolerance.  These things take time and energy.  It's not an easy task to help someone.  Most people don't have time to or will charge you an arm and a leg for care.  When you're hurt bad and suffering, you are at the mercy of the industrial medical complex.  You have basically given over your sovereignty to this evil money making cooperate machine. 

A lot of times, I need a place for myself.  I feel that things become very crazy real fast when people try to get together and communicate.  I'm most likely an introvert who does not like seeking out trouble with people.  I find the vast majority of people to be quite scary.  I appreciate the nice ones around.  Unfortunately, there are some really loud or rude people around who just don't give a damn.  These kinds of people say that they don't care, but when you say something to them that they don't like they quickly become offended and may even report you as though you've wronged them.  Why so serious?  I honestly care the least and stay out of the way most of the time.  I'm not interested in finding someone who does nothing but talk really loud and make a big deal about little small details and starts fights over it.  I avoid the egotistical maniac and people who just talk just to show dominance.  Socializing with people can be quite annoying when there's a loud mouth in the room.  I appreciate finding someone who is either funny, knowledgeable, or easy to hangout with.  I also tend to avoid people who are to serious.  Getting along with people is not easy.  Everyone is different and each person has a different personality type.  At the end of the day, I really don't care.  No, I don't want to care.  I just want to come home to my paycheck and be able to sleep at night.

In regards to people skills at the workplace, I'm one of the few anomalies.  I'm not sure if I'm a complete sociopath.  Like I said, I'm really only interested in a job for the money to survive.  I'm not sure if I'm actually into what I'm doing or enjoy what I'm doing.  I've seen other "normal" coworkers who always act like they deeply care and are invested in their "customer".  These "normal" workers like what they are doing and care about everything they do at the workplace.  Well, they get tired out and bitch like everyone else; but they do a very good job at hiding it.  I guess I need to do the same as well.  Revealing your negative side in the work place is never a good idea.  My professor always said some of these hospital workers should be Hollywood actors.  Pretending to provide care for people is a very lucrative people, especially elderly homes.  Do I care?  Nope, I just need the paycheck.  When I'm on the job, do I pretend to care?  Yes, I pretend to care and sometimes emphasize with people but that's only because it's apart of the job.  Regardless of what happens or how upset someone is, I still have a job to do.  Whether I feel happy or sad is irrelevant.  I need to get the job done.  Unfortunately, not everyone feels or thinks the same way.  Sometimes, human beings don't care about what needs to get done and just wants to see someone who actually cares about them.  With regards to people, showing compassion and love goes along way than being a robotic workaholic. 

As you can see, life as a person is complicated.  We all need a job to pay the bills at the expense of others.  It seems that every living thing is at constant competition with one another.  With people getting butthurt over the smallest of things everyday, you really have to pay close attention to detail and watch what you say or better yet just don't do anything nor say anything so that way you can't get in trouble.  Sorry, but I just don't want to care any further than I have to.  At the end of the day, I simply just don't care.  Even after reading peoples' complaints, I still could care less.  Sorry, I can't make everyone happy.  Not caring brings great joy to my life.     

Thank you for visiting.  I hope to post again soon.

             
  

Mantis Being

 
Well, I had one of those weird dreams last night involving a mantis being. Look kids, there is no reason for me to be making up random bullshit. I am not a politician. There's no need for me to try and deceive you. I do not have much of an agenda or narrative to follow. "Free will" is the best I'd like to describe how I operate. With that aside, most of my dreams are well, just dreams and just exist in my vast  subconscious somewhere, perhaps even in another realm, dimension, density, and/or alternative timeline. My ability to recall my dreams is very vivid and accurate. Some of them are very traumatic, mythological in nature, sexual in nature, or just plane insane!

 So I guess I was in some kind of Japanese pond garden. There was a man working in the pond with some "celebrity" landscape designs. He was sorting out different colored "sticks" to make things look nice. The "sticks" were some kind of special resource like bamboo or something?  Long story short, I met a mantis being for the first time. It stood upright about 3 feet high like a humanoid. All I could remember was GREEN and MANTIS.  You can tell right off the bat the GREEN lightly glowing mantis being was very intelligent and patient. Yes, there was only one of them.  It spoke briefly in some weird critter language. There was a human guiding me the whole time. He said "It thinks you are cute".  In any event, the creature was asking for medical help. All of the sudden, my tour guide got puked on and was asking me to HELP. I didn't know what to do; and everyone just started freaking out. Soon enough, I got puked on. As I was trying to run out of the room, I discovered small little insects infesting the place. I tried to smack them but that wasn't enough. My guide came back and tried to help me kill some of them. We were not successful helping the mantis being and just resorted to either escaping or wacking our way out. That was pretty much the last thing I remembered. The conflict derived from beating the hell out of all those small insects just ended the dream.

Yup, that was just 1 sequence of one of several dreams I have had last night. I have a lot of different dreams that play out like stories. This one just stood out because of that one mantis being. I thought it would be worth writing about. Oh right, the picture on top is an actual praying mantis I found outside last month when it was warm outside. The other picture I drew just right after I got up and could right in my dream journal.  There you have it folks, my first mantis being encounter that all manifested in my dreams. I was also taking Blue Ice Fermented Skate Liver Oil.  This is the kind of stuff that I dream about when I try to decalcify my pineal gland. I hope everyone has had fun reading my blog today. I hope to see you next time!