Revived

Yup, I've been gone for so long taking exams at my local community college for x-rays that my page views has been reduced to absolutely zero per day.  Well, this is typical of what happens to me.  The fundamental belief that somehow going to school and getting good grades will put a dent in the job market for you is absolutely absurd.  Initiative, eye contact, making connections, networking, being blood and/or family related:  These are the only ways of ever getting a job that doesn't suck.  Being talented in one way or the other also helps, but if that were the case why not just add super good looking and sex appeal?  Anyone can fall into the trap of paying thousands of dollars for school, only to realize that it's all bullshit.  No matter what it's you who has to work whatever job that it is, so for anyone else to consider what's best for you is not always what's best for you.  Only you can decide what's the best for you, even if it's absolutely crazy and nonsense to the other person.  They're not you, nor do they have to live your life or experience whatever pain or time that is involved.  As a result, having to listen to someone else all time can potentially be a fatal disaster.

Always with the paying money for classes for learning or whatnot.  Test after test, you'd think we'd all be competent enough by now to live our lives to the fullest.  Nope, everything these days is just for the sole purpose of looking good on paper.  Even graduate school is all about writing papers and living off the edge of your credit card, falling flat on your face onto a hard concrete slab of student debt.  When does the bullshit end?  Why does school not benefit your life instead of trying to destroy you from the ground up with student loans?  For the vast majority of us, THERE ARE NO JOBS.  So why waste your time?  If you don't fall in any of the categories above that I've recently mentioned, there's really no point in trying to advance in your career.  We might as well accept whatever life you've been given and be happy.  The best approach is to learn how to appreciate what you have.  Why do we always have to be so needy for MORE?  Why can't people be happy like children?  We are very self destructive by nature.  We always want more.  Sure, education is a great idea.  Everyone believes in education to some degree, but what if it costs you an arm and a leg?  To me, it's not worth it.  Sure I can write hours on end and make a book out of it, but who would ever buy my material for actual money?  Last but not least, you need a product.  No matter how hard you try to avoid this, you need a product that can sell.  If you don't have a product, school is absolutely pointless.  The time and money you spend on yourself or a loved one should come back like an investment, but it doesn't always happen.  People these days go to school and just end up with more student loan debt.  It's important that you don't fall into this trap.

I don't mind working for money.  Sure, I'll probably end up working at a customer service job again but that's all I can get.  Yes, I have a 4.0 GPA and first in class; but that's not EVERYTHING.  You need to go above and beyond.  Cold calling, networking, doing research on what company you want to work at; being in uncomfortable awkward social situations; know what you are passionate about: These are the things that the school should be focusing their attention on; not useless out of the book information.  Unfortunately, school doesn't care what you want.  School just wants you to read regurgitate answers from some paper test and scold you with more student loan debt.  Guess what?  It doesn't work.  You want to pay for it?  Go ahead.  I'm not going to care.

Well, I just had to get that off my chest.  I'm on vacation break from none other than school.  No, I never wanted to spend a huge chunk of my life in some pointless institution that would never lead to a concrete, solid job that I enjoy doing.  Well, I'm out of here.  It pleases me to get the hell out of there as opposed to actually wanting to be there.  That's not something you want on an emotional level, but it's the truth.

After a few hours of gaming, I came back to write in my blog again.  I've decided to take the rest of the day off.  No, I'm not going into details about writing plans or working out in the gym.  I just want to relax.  My muscles feel sore from working out yesterday.  My brain has been overloaded with medical information from my x-ray program.  I just need to chill for a while.  I'll return back tomorrow.  Although I continue to have this burning desire inside to achieve something great, I still need to relax like an ordinary happy, human being.  

I'm Back! Columbus Day off!

Hi Everyone,

I've returned from school for the first time in a long time.  Long story short, it's been hell.  They send you to some hospital down in the ghettos and take homeless peoples' x-rays.  It smells, it's dirty, and mad ghetto.  Yes, what you've just read was a real and very accurate assessment of the school's radiology program.  This will probably be the closest thing to med school I will ever come in contact with.  I've decided to just be a regular person.  I don't want to be no doctor or lawyer with a fancy title.  After seeing all the political crap that goes around, I just want to leave everything at the front door, bunker down at night, and go to sleep.  There's so much drama and horseshit flying around.  I thought working in retail was absolute bullshit, the medical field is even worse.

When asked if I wanted to be a nurse, I responded immediately with a no.  I do not want to be in this field as though my life depended on it.  These people can go ____ themselves.  There's no way in hell do I ever want spend anymore time in a hospital than required.  Keep in mind, that I'm also a bum; so I don't really care to begin with.  Just like everyone else in the waking world, I need my paycheck.  Apparently, the payout is suppose to be good; but I haven't seen nothing yet since I'm only a student.  Yes, it's painful and it hurts; but one day karma will show me to the door.  Maybe by that time, I wouldn't care about money.  I would only care about "my patients" and see to it that I do a good job.  There's no chance in hell that I feel that way.  When you starve someone, they become hungry.  That very same hunger grows, drives, and motivates the individual to raise the bar higher and higher to succeed, to conquer.  At the very same time, appreciation and the awareness of reaching the top becomes illuminated and inspiring.

In any event, the homework and the hospital work doesn't seem to have an end.  It just keeps going, and going, and going.  You really don't want to dig the hole deeper than it already is.  I'll leave that up to the teachers, doctors, and nurses, or whoever is up there.  I just want to be paid my biweekly paycheck and go home.  There's too much drama, too much work, and too much of a bit of everything trying to screw you over.  My attitude may not be very appropriate for this field, but I need the money.  Working in the hospital is said to be one of the most humanitarian thing on the planet.  Well if it is, I don't to be working anywhere near the hospital.  Based on what I've seen a vast majority of humans are not a happy, fun going species.  They'll do whatever for money and that's it.  Once they have their money, they can be happy and cheery, but if money was of no concern all hell would break loose.  Are you serious?  People who actually volunteer to be working in a hospital taking care of people with no pay?  As you go higher up on the socioeconomic latter, the one with the most power is usually a bosshole and will delegate all the rules and regulations he wants done.  You're basically just another slave.  Where's the fun in that?  If you do happen to derive pleasure from helping others, God bless you.  But as for me, it's doesn't feel that it's worth it or my time here.

Maybe my teacher was right, I should be in the I.T. field or something.  We had a conversation once, and my teacher pointed out that I would never bend over and be happy to clean someone's bedpan with a smile on my face.  In fact, if that ever happened I would feel like shooting someone.  My teacher was 99% right about that.  So why am I so violet?  Why don't I like to help people?  Why don't I like loving people?  What's wrong with me?  All I know is that deep down inside, I do not want to help people on purpose; I need the benefits and rewards of money that comes with it down the road.  I'll be glad to pick someones poop for $22-$28 an hour.  Engineers start at around the same pay.  But if you ask me to pick up poop for free, that's when it gets ugly.  So you see, I'm not much different than the money hungry people I pointed out a bit earlier.

Now, I must return back to my cave and continue to work on my, what seems to be, never ending homework assignments.  Just 9-10 months remaining; I prey to God everyday I can endure and survive in the healthcare field.              

Hospital Work Tomorrow

It's Sunday night, and I have time to post.  Well, I did "everything" I wanted over the weekend like working out, swimming, walking, homework, and even walking around the city.  I'm accustomed to the life style.  I basically know what's going on kind of a feel.  My body is use to all the routine.  I've gotten better over the week.  I'm less sick and can walk comfortably now.  Well, it's been a full week of school so far.  I've been surviving going to class and interning at the hospital.  I prey that I can keep it up.  I'm looking forward to doing my best and not being afraid to fail trying new things.

I don't get a kick out of working at the hospital.  It's hard for me to believe my clinical instructor told me she gets a high from taking on trauma cases.  Yes, people get hurt or sick and my instructor gets off on taking their case to take x-rays.  I don't understand the full extent to how anyone can be so into taking x-rays or doing any kind of work, especially at a hospital where people are sick or seriously hurt.  Well, I do like working with some patients.  Most of the time I have to see people no one likes.  I won't go into the details, but it's just like working retail at a grocery store.  Basically, you get that feeling like everyone you hate looking at has to talk to you.  My only defense system is try to be happy and think about more positive things.  I don't think anyone wants to be there at the hospital, but people have kids to feed, paychecks to collect, and bills to take care of.

My tuition costs less than $300 this semester so I have something to be thankful for.  Education these days is seriously expensive, and I cannot afford to miss any opportunities.  Yes, it's a God awful experience to work at a hospital, but I was given a chance that a lot of people don't get in life.  I appreciate the simple things.  Of course we all want the money to buy nice things and dream vacations, but sacrifices must be made to obtain a healthy current state of reality both bodily and mentally.  I don't know how I continue to survive through the day working in a hell hole, but the lunch menu is pretty super.  I wish I had more money to buy the things I want to eat, but I guess I'm staying away from a lot of junk food at the same time.  Asides from money and wealth, people always need to be in good health.  I guess I'm working my way up to being a better healthcare professional.  Even if I feel like giving up at times or changing career paths, it's a fundamental belief that health is the most important thing in life.  As long as I continue on the path of the healthcare industry that I'm on right now, success will surely follow in the long run.  No, it's not easy and won't happen overnight.  None the less, I want to be or at least pretend to be happy in my field of choice on a daily basis.

Peace          

Back To School

My first class for radiology starts at 11:30AM.  I'm in my second year.  I've completed the first of two years.  Yes, this is my last "senior" year as a radiology x-ray tech student.  It's been hell having to wake up, drive to school, drive to the hospital, spending time with others, dealing with the politics, having to ask people what the hell is going on, and working with a diverse group of other people.  I've heard stories of people making $22 starting at the hospital to $50 for a private doctor's clinic.  Either way, it's a lot of shit you have to go through.  I have to train and study everyday just to keep afloat.  Do not be fooled.  Being a x-ray technician requires just as much discipline as any other career choice.  For me, I put the hours in and try my best everyday.  When they say you can't find a job, I do not listen to the "no".  I getup and go and use that attitude to get my foot in the door and muscle my way through.  "Work like hell" . . .    

Back for More Trouble

To make matters worse, I've been sick for the week on my "vacation".  It's been more than several days I have been doing nothing at all.  Once again, I've hit rock bottom and feel like a bum.  It is as though there's not much I can do differently to make my life any better than it already is without the aid of a financial miracle.  The good news is that I decided to get off my ass and change my primary care provided on my community plan healthcare care card (Medicaid).  It took about an hour to find a real doctor that actually works with the program.  It was well worth it.  You won't find mainstream, American doctors that people want all the time.  Instead, you may find the doctors that come from foreign countries with accents.  There's nothing worth with that.  It's just that the doctors born and educated here in America probably want a lot of money for their time and services, especially since medical school prices have sky rocketed through the roof in the past couple of years.

During the time I felt I was getting sick, I was taking my daily nutrients and supplements.  I guess it's one of those things that unpreventable.  The weather drops down a few degrees when September approaches.  I usually get sick around this time, but this year it happened a bit earlier.  After I get sick around this time, I go to the doctors for antibiotics and that usually does the trick.  I may get sick up to three times a year depending on my luck.  I know if I'm sick right away, because my throat starts to get sore and start to cough. It's a God awful experience and that is why I make sure to take my daily vitamins everyday.  Sometimes I go throughout the months without ever getting sick.  I still workout, take nutrients, and eat right; but sometimes I just get sick for no reason.  I try home remedies before going to a real doctor, but there's so much one can do.  Natural, home remedies only work up to a certain point; but then you need something a lot stronger.  I can't tell if there are much side effects using antibiotics, but it's been doing well for me once I fall ill.  It usually takes a week or two to recover.

In any event, there have been minimal amount of new and exciting projects going around here.  I may have worked out one or two deals, but nothing spectacular worth mentioning.  I have received some rebates in the mail that usually take up to three months to arrive.  Yes, rebates take a very long time to arrive; but eventually they get to your home when you least expect it.  It's not a bad system if you're patient.  It does get annoying, but it's better than nothing.  Well, I hope to get some more reading and studying done for my radiology classes starting in September.  I only have this week left until school starts up.  I just need to survive this last, remaining year; and I'll be home free!  Seriously, everyday I have to work hard and remain persistent or else suffer the consequences of being a fat, lazy American.

I'M STILL ALIVE

Sorry people, I have been under-the-weather today.  I left the fan on while sleeping in the nude.  I woke up with a sore throat.  I prepared hot tea with honey and made sure to take lozenges.  The doctor also recommended to gargle salt water in the morning.  In any case, I didn't do much today nor due I plan to.  There are no crazy pictures or anything worth while mentioning except for having more school/work days off for the next few weeks.  I don't feel compelled to go out and spend tons of cash on frivolous things.  Wouldn't it be great to win the lottery?  Nope, I'm still bound by the everyday limitations of being a mere mortal.  Perhaps, I will post some note worthy material later when I feel like it.  Today is not the right time to be doing anything except for the usual rest and sleep.

Accidents Happen

Long story short, a 35 lbs. dumbbell happened to fall on my foot at the gym by accident.  They had an x-ray done for me.  Yup, I realized that being in the field of x-rays had much value behind it.  Instead of taking my job lightly, I feel a deeper connection and appreciation for the science and care behind radiology.  I'll be out for a few days.  I'll be around reporting less and working less as I try to recover.  It sucks, but I need time to take off.  I've been icing and doing light, routine exercising since the accident.  There's no fracture, so it's okay to be moving a little.  Hell, I even had to go to work at the hospital after a day of recovery.  Talk about unfair.  In any event, I've been trying out the new whey protein.  Thankfully, nothing was broken and my foot is continuing to heal on its own without any special medical procedures or medicines.  

I guess I should be wearing shoes to prevent any further accidents from happening in the future.  I sure have had my fair share of accidents.  Accidents happen from time to time.  I'm prepared to stay calm and alert when they do.  Thank God, I didn't need surgery.  Hope all is well.  Until next time!